Feb
I mean when you really think about it, why not. I was unfortunate and dumb enough to have gotten it, why try and prevent others from making the same decisions. Why should I suffer from trying to be a good guy and telling sex partners, only to be left strugging to be acceoted. Seems more logical to just not potect myself, and spread it to whoever wants it, no use in needing protection for myself, Im already infected.
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I know the feeling.
If you go on the internet, there is a lot about how you have a moral responsibility to tell people and everyone jumps on you if you say you won't.
In the real world, every friend I have told I have herpes has just told me to keep it to myself and not tell anyone. I live in the UK, maybe we have less of a moral attitude about it here. Nobody has even suggested I have a duty to tell.
As in happens, I am in a stead relationship, but if I wasn't, I wouldn't tell. I would tell if I liked the guy enough to see a future with him, but never otherwise.
Maybe we are less clued up about herpes here. There are no valtrex adverts, etc, and herpes is much less common. Most people don't have a clue about it at all. Cold sores, however, are incredibly common where I live (hence hsv-1 causing 50-75% of genital herpes infections), every guy I've ever dated has them, and I have hsv-1 genitally so I'm not going to put myself out on a limb when they don''t tell me or tell others they have cold sores.
As to hpv, well I might have it for all I know, they don't test you for it here in the UK, and I've had a couple of boyfriends who've had warts, plus in the North-West of England cervical cancer rates are sky high, meaning rates of the dangerous forms of hpv must be too. It isn't anything that anyone thinks about. Like I said, I've had a couple of boyfriends tell me weeks/months into the relationship, just in passing, that they had hpv, they didn't see it as a responsibility to tell me, they just told me because the subject came up. I can't say I was angry or bothered at all.
In the end, it is up to you. Peronally, I believe that unless you are asking for a full std test every time you sleep with someone, if you catch an std from someone, that is a risk you have chosen to take by sleeping with them, and you have no right to blame anyone else for it. You can't shift the blame, you chose to have sex. If you catch something from someone, your first thought shouldn't be 'the bastard wasn't honest with me he had a moral duty to tell me' it should be 'damn I slept with him, what an idiot I am, I drew the short straw this time and it is my own fault entirely'. You can't blame someone else.
If someone did catch hsv-1 from me, I'd say I got cold sores.
As a woman, I'd still use condoms. There are plenty of strains of hpv to chose from, and I only have one type of herpes so far. And I don't particularly want a bacterial infection, but there you go. I'm not expecting people to tell me what they've got.
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Yea, but you aren't infected with HIV and if you do that, you could get that. Not only that, but people can still date with the two STD's you have. The dumb thing you are suggesting is the reason why it's so common now.
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If I were you I would take the moral high ground and suffer. It is not fair to do what was done to you. Yeah, there's alot of scum out there, do you want to be one of them?
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Why not meet people with the same Herpes,hpv at herpesfinder dot com?? you are not alone, there are 10000s herpes people's profile s here
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Knowingly spreading a communicable disease is a crime….that aside, yeah somebody thoroughly screwed you over, and it sucks, but wouldn't you have loved to have had the option to say no thanks I don't want herpes and hpv? You said "why try and prevent others from making the same decisions". You're not even giving people the information with which to make the decision. There are millions of HONEST people with herpes and hpv that lead normal dating/sexual lives. There are websites and dating sites that cater to that specific demographic. And besides all that, it's just bad karma to go around spreading disease and pestilence to the unsuspecting. Not protecting yourself got you into this mess, and I know that misery loves company, but damn dude…"spread it to whoever wants it"?! Who in their right mind wants THAT?! The LOGICAL thing to do is to continue to protect yourself (and others) from STDs. Just 'cuz you've got it doesn't mean you have to share it, and there are other STDs that YOU can still get. Your life is not over, get some valtrex, some condoms and some consciousness and get on with your life!!
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You shouldn't. Don't go and infect anyone just because of a mistake that you made. You go and spread sickness, the person(s) that you may infect may not take it easily and can hurt you in the worse way possible. If you meet new people, and are honest with them, they choose to stay with you, that's on them. Life isn't over for you just yet. There is a website someone above mentioned about people with herpes dating one another.
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This is what separates people with integrity with people who have none.
You do what you think is right, you are the one who has to live with those choices.
I can live with myself because I chose to do the right thing by informing people I have genital herpes. If they then choose not to date me, that is fine. I did the right thing.
For you GH might not be a big deal physically, but there are people who become very ill. In some cases it can lead to meningitis. Another friend had 18 outbreaks in the first 2 years.
Is that what you want on your conscience by not telling?
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Firstly, take care of yourself. Second there is a lot of anger there, but I am not a shrink so I'll not butt in. As for standing in front of someone and waving a flag? Nope. But if at any point you do feel you care for someone then then you should most likely talk. I have had HIV for over 23 years and believe me I did not ask to get it. The one most important thing here, "Is You".. Care for yourself and carry some condoms. It might just be that in the long run you may be protecting your body from something even worse. There are people out there that do not care. Like i said I'm no shrink, but i feel pain that I think you should adress. And I don't believe you are a bad person. Just got burned and are mad. Be safe and good to yourself. And you were not dumb. Be well